Social Media. Timehop. Facebook Memories…..
I usually love the memories and moments these apps send to my cell phone every day. Every morning is a brief walk down memory lane, and a peek into some forgotten past moments.
But today, they have just about broken my heart.
Between my phone and Kyle's, the memories and events of last year at this time really caught me by surprise.
To back track and catch up anyone who may ever read this and not know our story, 8 months before Kyle died, he was fired as a head coach at one of our local schools. The same school myself and my mother graduated from, and where Myla was currently in kindergarten. It was an extremely difficult football season, and a school culture that is out of control. Needless to say, prior to Kyle's death, it was THE HARDEST event I had ever had to experience. Our family suffered tremendously, and it hit me hard.
So, today when I get a picture of Myla trying on her new cheerleader outfit to cheer on her daddy's new team, it instantly brought tears to my eyes. It is so bittersweet. By that point in the year, Kyle had been hired pretty quickly by another local high school, and we were so happy and excited about the future. Myla was so proud to have a new cheerleader uniform.
We could have never fathomed that the first time she would wear it would be on August 18th, at a prayer vigil for her father.
And this 1st day of School picture really sting also. Myla was so nervous that day, starting a new school. But she put on a brave face, and took the challenge head on. We were in need of a fresh start at a sweet little Christian school, free of parental drama and sports drama.
She looks so small and precious. Her innocent, sweet little face is free from the knowledge of the pain life causes. 7 days after this picture was taken, on her 4th day of school, she would receive the worst news of her little life.
Oh how my heart hurts for her! Last night at dinner I asked her if she was excited about 2nd grade. When she hesitated, I asked:
"are you nervous?"
"What makes you nervous? New teacher? Homework?"
" no ma'am"
"Are you remembering how hard it was last year when daddy died?"
"Yes ma'am. I don't want it to be crazy again, and all those people. And I don't want any body to die this whole year!"
After I pulled my mind together, I took that opportunity to use it as a teaching moment, and tell her that we are not guaranteed a single day, and we never know when it will be our time to go live with Jesus. That's why we must keep God and Jesus in our hearts always so that we are always ready.
Bless this child, dear Father. She already knows more than any of her friends about the first hand experience of life, death, and eternity. In my sorrow, I am thankful for the time I can spend telling my children about your glory and your Heaven that awaits your children. Thank you for every day, good and bad. In your name I pray. Amen.